Tiffany Diner

Tiffany Diner
9010 Roosevelt Blvd.
Philadelphia, PA 19115
(215) 677-3916











Loaded Nachos

Tortilla chips with tomatoes, jalapeno peppers, black olives and Cheddar cheese with sour cream and salsa.  

Price: $6.29


Another day, another diner. Another breakfast for dinner and another dinner with nachos. I've always had certain expectations of diners which are universally satisfied in spades. The older waitress that calls me "hun" is expected. The obligatory "couple in a fight" that doesn't touch their food is always welcomed entertainment. That crazy (usually non-threatening) companion-less patron that sits in the far corner and mumbles just loud enough to offer a faint white noise is soothing. Of course excellent scrapple is a must and inferior neon yellow nachos are a guarantee. These are a few of my favorite things.

This picture is my review.
Symptoms of acute radiation syndrome include nausea and vomiting.

The obvious question then is, "why?" Why order nachos on a regular basis from a species of food establishments that I know will ultimately disappoint? Well, I think there are two answers. The first being, "I don't know. I'm a stupid." The second being, "What if this is the place? What if this is the diner that prepares spectacular nachos and I was too much of a smug asshole to give them a try?" These are the questions that keep me up at night while I count nacho chips jumping over a fence into my mouth. Needless to say (as showcased above), this was not that place. But, my quest will continue until the day I am that lonely weirdo mumbling about nachos in the corner booth hoping anyone will listen. 

• Presentation: 1
• Assembly: 3
• Uniqueness: 1
• Value: 2
• Taste: 2
• Overall: 1.8