Buffalo Wild Wings
9701 Roosevelt Blvd
Philadelphia, PA 19114
(215) 552-0025
Ultimate Nachos
Step up to the plate. Chili, pico de gallo, shredded lettuce, jalapenos, queso and salsa all atop a mound of fresh, corn tortilla chips.
Price: $8.19
with chicken $9.19
Whenever I stroll into a sports bar I typically feel out of my element. In a land of flat screen TVs, chicken wings, and latterly-bought jerseys the only constant consolation I can rely on is nachos. Whether they are called "Grand Slam Nachos," or "Hat Trick Nachos," or even "The Immaculate Nachos," I know what to expect. Unfortunately, that which I expect is generally a mediocre nacho appetizer. Buffalo Wild Wings did not disappoint as I "stepped up to the plate."
When I saw "Ultimate Nachos" listed in the menu I certainly didn't think that my quest is finally over and I can go back to my life as a mild-mannered nerd. However, I do think there should be more than a couple of handfuls of chips dropped in a basket with some vegetable garnish thrown on top. The chili and cheese that were used to bind this appetizer together were actually more boring than a quite evening in watching curling. In fact, the cheese was so fascinatingly nondescript that this is the actual transcript between my girlfriend and I as I was first tasting it:
Kristan: Baby, I am so happy to be with you. I love you.
Faust: What kind of cheese is this???
Seriously.
So, I suggest that Buffalo Wild Wings change the name of the platter to "Roberto De Vicenzo Nachos" because golf is the most boring sport in the world and I fucking hate it. See, every sports bar should be required to brand their platters with hackneyed sports puns that best represent those platters. Then, and only then, will I fill more comfortable at these establishments.
- Presentation: 4
- Assembly: 3
- Uniqueness: 4
- Value: 3
- Taste: 4
- Overall: 3.6
are you sure that is how that conversation went? i think we should ask her. as a woman, i know what you men hear is never what we actually say.
ReplyDeleteok, so technical question - what would make a plate of nachos unique?
I am sad to say...this really happened. Fortunately, as soon as I looked up at Mr. Faust in complete disbelief, we started laughing hysterically. From our first date (he ordered nachos) I knew what I was getting into. A man on a path, a journey ......a nutritionists' nightmare.
ReplyDeleteGood question, anonymous - whomever you may be! Primarily, the ingredients and the quality of those ingredients are what make up the "uniqueness" of the platter. For example, if a platter of nachos had squid on it and other disgusting seafood it would rank high in uniqueness but extremely low in taste. Very, very low.
ReplyDeletenothing says romance and love like a plate full of nachos with non-descript cheese. ahhhhh *cue the music, preferably a mariachi band*
ReplyDeleteok, that makes sense, although the ranking of it is a little askewed. i mean, for the most part, nachos will consist of chips, cheese, lettuce, meat, beans, sour cream, guacamole, and olives (mmmmm, olives). and i think we both can agree there is nothing really unique about any of that. so why wouldn't uniqueness rating be 1 by default and only change if there are unique ingredients added?
and it's gio. i thought i typed my name before. whoops.