The Grille

The Grille
502 Sunset Blvd.
Cape May Point, NJ 08212
(609) 898-9677










Loaded Nachos

A description wasn't available on the menu board, but the words "loaded" and "nachos" were good enough for me.

Price: $4.50


A great man once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Armed with this poignant quote, a trunk full of fishing rods, some wonderful friends, and an approved time-off request form, I headed for the shore. As an incredibly pasty white man that spends most of my time under a roof, I took all the necessary precautions to ensure a completely safe day at the beach: I immediately ordered nachos and used the lunch tray to shield myself from the devastatingly beautiful sunshine. And yes, the nachos did taste just a little better knowing my work e-mails went reply-less, my phone calls went answer-less, and my sanity was customer-less.

Lonely are the chips that are left behind.

Let me say that these nachos weren't the prettiest and certainly weren't the tastiest, but what they lacked in ingredient quality, taste, and aesthetics they made up in mass, value, and backdrop. Now, under normal circumstances I would never take issue with cheese. Cheese surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together. But, there is a limit to the amount of canned gelatinous cheese I can ingest and digest. When all is said in done, there was absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying sub-par beach nachos on a beautiful day with some close friends.

And fuck Ed Rooney.

• Presentation: 4
• Assembly: 3
• Uniqueness: 2
• Value: 7
• Taste: 4
• Overall: 4.0

The Ugly American

The Ugly American
1100 South Front St.
Philadelphia, PA 19147
(215) 336-1100










Cheddar Nachos

Refried beans, pickled jalapenos, red chili sour cream, honey poblano sauce.
Add chili $1 add chicken $3

Price: $8.00


You may be asking yourself, "What the fuck are on those nachos? Radishes???" Or you may be asking yourself, "Why are there fucking radishes on those nachos?" At one time I was like you. At one time I was asking those same questions, but with my skeptical soulless eyes and some unintentional lip movement. If I was just 40 years older and grayer, and delightfully stereotypical, I may have even said, "Why, I never!" It's true though - I never. I never had radishes on nachos, and if history has taught me anything (which it hasn't), most likely I never will again. It should be obvious to my enlightened readers that I am not a fan of radishes, but after this excursion the world has certainly become a little less repulsive. To my surprise they were perfectly delicious and absolutely befitting to this particular nacho concoction.    

 Radishes: less repugnant than you think.

It was originally difficult to explain the impression left by these nachos. There were so many unique flavors assaulting our collective meat tongues we found it difficult to pinpoint what was happening. They were gooey yet chunky, mild yet spicy, salty but sweet. And like Keyser Söze they were there... (initiate poofy magical hand gesture) then they were gone. However, there was never any confusion regarding our enjoyment due to these dichotomies, only an originally complicated (then conclusively simple) appreciation of the piquancy. We absolutely loved them. After all was said and done, and eaten and digested, it was the sweetness that was the lasting impression; compliments of the honey poblano sauce. Very surprising considering how the menu description led me to believe these "cheddar nachos" were going to have more spice than Arrakis.      

• Presentation:7
• Assembly: 8
• Uniqueness: 7
• Value: 9
• Taste: 8
• Overall: 7.8