Longhorn Steakhouse

Longhorn Steakhouse
Address Withheld to Protect
the Innocent/Awesome
(215) xxx-xxxx









BBQ Braised Beef Nachos

Golden brown nacho chips topped with melted cheeses, jalapeno peppers, and BBQ braised beef with a lovely side of sour cream.

Price: Priceless


Having my own nacho blog has not only brought me fame and fortune, but perks I never would have dreamed of in my previous life as a "paying customer." Through various connections and powerful friends I was treated to a non-menu nacho platter at a local Longhorn Steakhouse. I didn't know what to expect since Longhorn doesn't normally list nachos in their menu, so what do they know about food? Word on the street was these were "special" nachos though. So special in fact, that I had to indulge myself under the cover of high noon on one of their busiest days of the year - New Years Eve. Yes, not only was this a highly covert operation as to protect the Manager, but it would also be my final appreciation of nachos for 2011. I am very proud to state that this mission was a gigantic success and Longhorn Steakhouse is a force to be reckoned with.

Part of the beauty of this platter was actually the shear simplicity of it. Less is more my friends...less is more. Chips, cheese, jalapenos, sour cream, and the most ridiculously tender chunks of beef I shouldn't even attempt making a pun over- but let's try anyway. These succulent chunks of whiskey BBQ braised beef were more tender than an open gunshot wound. They were more tender than a puppy and a kitten napping together. Hell, they were more tender than a $100,000 bill. Longhorn (as people in the know refer to them as) also played to my nacho sensibilities by noting that there were actually TWO layers to this platter to keep the calorie train rolling to Flavor Town with no local stops. All around an amazing meal, prepared by an fantastic chef, and bequeathed by a great Manager.

A perfect way to end the year, so thank you.

• Presentation: 7
• Assembly: 9
• Uniqueness:6
• Value: 10 (I would have gladly paid upwards of $12.95 for this)
• Taste: 10
• Overall: 8.4

Brickhouse Bar and Grille / Steve's Pizzeria and Restaurant

Brickhouse Bar and Grille/Steve's Pizzeria and Restaurant
3334 Grant Ave
Philadelphia, PA 19114(215) 677-0191







Nachos

(add ground beef $2.00 more)

Price: $7.95


Batman and Robin! Gin and Tonic! Bert and Ernie! Abbot and Costello! Brickhouse Bar and Grille and Steve's Pizzeria and Restaurant? Um, ok. There have been many famous doublets throughout history, unfortunately BBaGaSPaR is not one of them. My theory is for every "and" you add to your name or call sign you decrease the effectiveness of your brand. Take Run-DMC and Jam Master Jay. Three Gods and one "and." Perfect.

So, now that the stage has been set let's actually talk about nachos. One would normally think that the combined powers of a Bar/Grille/Pizzeria/Restaurant would create the conclusive nacho platter not only for this blog, but for all of humanity. One would also have lost this bet. When the nachos were being delivered to my table my eyes went from "wide-open" to "Skeptical Hippo" (Google it). I have never seen such a painfully bland looking platter of nachos in my life. What the nachos lacked in any hint of color certainly didn't make up in taste either. What is truly unfortunate is that this meal held a surprise that would ultimately be squandered. I'm talking about "Assembly." Every chip all the way to the bottom of the plate had something on it. Whether it was the indeterminable flavor of the watered down cheese, the oddly gray "ground beef" that simply added texture and not taste, or the red-like tomatoes hidden throughout the platter, every chip was a flavorless blast to your tongue. Thankfully the side cup of salsa brought something to the party - color and taste. So, thank you Frito Lay for saving the day.

As for BBaGaSPaR they have a lot to think about. Perhaps they would be better off getting a divorce, plastering up that hole in the wall connecting their businesses and going their separate ways. It may not be that bad. Not every duo is meant to work: Tom & Jerry. Romeo & Juliet. John & Yoko. George W Bush and Presidency. I see what I did there!

• Presentation: 3
• Assembly: 8
• Uniqueness:3
• Value: 4
• Taste: 4
• Overall: 4.4