My Birthday Nachos

Kristan's Home
xxxx xxxxx St.
Philadelphia, PA 19115
(xxx) xxx-xxxx










Double-Decker Birthday Nachos

Oven Baked Snyder's of Hanover White Corn Tortilla Chips, Seasoned Beef, Re-fried Beans, Homemade Guacamole, Shredded Cheddar Cheese, Homemade Salsa, Jalapenos (only on half), two Dallops of Sour Cream, and Love.

Price: Free, or as I understand it, my eternal soul.


In case you missed the big news this week, it was my birthday. With the Miami Heat winning the NBA Finals, the Jerry Sandusky trial coming to an end, and the epically sad bus monitor incident I can understand how my birthday may have gotten lost in the shuffle. I forgive you. What's important is that you are here now... and that you forgive me for watching the video for Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen earlier today. But, back to me and my birthday! I arrived at Kristan's house for my birthday dinner and was quickly greeted with this:  

Half ass-on-fire jalapenos, half savings in toilet paper. Pick a side and dive in.

I was then served a large chunk of nachos and was then greeted by this:  

Assembly. Assembly. Assembly.

Wow. Just... wow. From the first taste to the last gluttonous bite I was in nacho heaven. Have you ever ate nachos with TWO hands? I have now. I don't know if it was because I was just so hungry from a long day at work not eating nachos, or if they were just so damn heavy my weak wrists needed the additional support, or if I was willing to do what it takes to eat as much as I could (and as fast as I could) and leave nothing for Kristan. I was in it to win it. She knows what she was getting into when she agreed to go on a second date with me. Every ingredient was catered to my taste buds. Every layer was arranged to my liking. Every shred of cheese and every slice of jalapeno was planned and placed with love. I wish I could share them with the world.

• Presentation:10
• Assembly:10
• Uniqueness: 4
• Value:10 (due to the reasonable priced cost of zero dollars).
• Taste:10
• Overall: 8.8