Brickhouse Bar and Grille / Steve's Pizzeria and Restaurant

Brickhouse Bar and Grille/Steve's Pizzeria and Restaurant
3334 Grant Ave
Philadelphia, PA 19114(215) 677-0191







Nachos

(add ground beef $2.00 more)

Price: $7.95


Batman and Robin! Gin and Tonic! Bert and Ernie! Abbot and Costello! Brickhouse Bar and Grille and Steve's Pizzeria and Restaurant? Um, ok. There have been many famous doublets throughout history, unfortunately BBaGaSPaR is not one of them. My theory is for every "and" you add to your name or call sign you decrease the effectiveness of your brand. Take Run-DMC and Jam Master Jay. Three Gods and one "and." Perfect.

So, now that the stage has been set let's actually talk about nachos. One would normally think that the combined powers of a Bar/Grille/Pizzeria/Restaurant would create the conclusive nacho platter not only for this blog, but for all of humanity. One would also have lost this bet. When the nachos were being delivered to my table my eyes went from "wide-open" to "Skeptical Hippo" (Google it). I have never seen such a painfully bland looking platter of nachos in my life. What the nachos lacked in any hint of color certainly didn't make up in taste either. What is truly unfortunate is that this meal held a surprise that would ultimately be squandered. I'm talking about "Assembly." Every chip all the way to the bottom of the plate had something on it. Whether it was the indeterminable flavor of the watered down cheese, the oddly gray "ground beef" that simply added texture and not taste, or the red-like tomatoes hidden throughout the platter, every chip was a flavorless blast to your tongue. Thankfully the side cup of salsa brought something to the party - color and taste. So, thank you Frito Lay for saving the day.

As for BBaGaSPaR they have a lot to think about. Perhaps they would be better off getting a divorce, plastering up that hole in the wall connecting their businesses and going their separate ways. It may not be that bad. Not every duo is meant to work: Tom & Jerry. Romeo & Juliet. John & Yoko. George W Bush and Presidency. I see what I did there!

• Presentation: 3
• Assembly: 8
• Uniqueness:3
• Value: 4
• Taste: 4
• Overall: 4.4

Las Margaritas

Las Margaritas
2538-40 Welsh Rd
Philadelphia, PA 19152
(215) 969-6600









Nachos Grande

Large nachos topped with melted cheese, ground beef or shredded chicken, refried beans, sour cream, guacamole, shredded lettuce, tomatoes, jalapeno peppers and pico de gallo.

Price: $10.95


Nothing says Thanksgiving and bringing in a good harvest like ordering a giant plate of nachos at a full-blown Mexican restaurant. So, I give thanks to the waiter for telling me not to touch the hot plate while wearing oven mitts... and then immediately touching the hot plate. I give thanks to the chef that must have used a shovel like a scalpel when creating this heaping masterpiece of food. Seriously, pound for pound this platter could take down Manny Pacquiao in one round. I give thanks to the decorative sour cream which brings some much needed attention to this unsung nacho hero. I give thanks to the gaggle of girls sitting next to me that looked into my eyes like I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life for ordering this entree (yes, this was my meal). They made me realize how important my work really is. I also give thanks to the seasoned cow (not chicken) that made this platter all it could be. From the plate up, every ingredient tasted a little better at Las Margaritas.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to finish. But no one man could.

• Presentation: 8
• Assembly: 6
• Uniqueness:4
• Value: 8
• Taste: 8
• Overall: 6.8

The Blackstone Grill

The Blackstone Grill
15 Union St
Boston, MA 02108
(617) 369-6711









Nachos

{jalapenos, black olives, scallions, salsa, sour cream}

Price: $9.95


Things to experience while visiting the great city of Boston: Fenway Park, Sam Adams Brewery, Cheers, Boston Common, Newbury St, The Freedom Trail, and numerous other cultural, historical and social events and activities that are in constant rotation. Now, the only thing you should not do while in Boston is order nachos at The Blackstone Grill. I would recommend that you walk around Boston Common wearing NY Yankees gear from head to toe while burning a Ted Williams jersey first. I would ask that you visit Bunker Hill and let out a hardy laugh. I would rather you burn down the Paul Revere House before ever ordering this Boston Massacre of nachos. Seriously, just look at the picture. Hell, look at the menu description! I'm pretty sure that burning a bunch of chips and dumping a jar of salsa on top to cover it up is technically nachos, but that is like comparing Jack Lemmon to Donnie Wahlberg. Technically, they are both actors (from Boston). Nailed it.

• Presentation: 1
• Assembly: 1
• Uniqueness: 2
• Value: 2
• Taste: 3
• Overall: 1.8

Chickie's & Pete's

Chickie's & Pete's 
Parx Casino
2999 Street Rd
Bensalem, PA 19020
(267) 525-7333





Cheesesteak Nachos

Crispy tortilla chips covered with cheesesteak, black olives, sliced cherry peppers, sour cream, salsa, guacamole, and our famous cheese sauce.

Price: $12.00


Chickie's & Pete's and I have a very tumultuous relationship. Their food is amazing. The atmosphere is palpable. Their name is legendary. Unfortunately, their famous cheese sauce gives me severe cramps and eventually diarrhea. Yes, you read that right. Not exactly the forum I would have preferred to disclose this bit of information, but I wanted to express my absolute love and adoration for their famous cheese sauce and what I am willing to go through for my "art." I also wanted to paint a picture of how incredibly tense I was while waiting for my nachos... and the inevitable. The cheesesteak topping was definitely a tasty touch. Surprisingly, it was the first time I ever ate cheesesteak on nachos (considering I live in Philly). The sides were standard fare, but as you can see from the picture I told them to hold the black olives. Seriously, fuck black olives. Ultimately, a worthy meal. And in case you are wondering how I made out on the long trip home, perhaps it will remain a mystery...

Or send me an e-mail and ask!

• Presentation: 6
• Assembly: 5
• Uniqueness: 6
• Value: 7
• Taste: 8
• Overall: 6.4

T.G.I. Friday's

T.G.I. Friday's
501 Washington St
Indianapolis, IN 46204
(317) 685-8443









Friday's Tostado Nachos

Crispy tortillas loaded with refried beans, seasoned ground beef and melted cheese. Served with salsa, sour cream and guacamole and topped with spicy jalapenos.

Price: $9.89


One would not expect to find such a glorious nacho platter at a chain restaurant. Especially Friday's. Friday's, who are known for their "I sometimes wish I had friends and family like that" commercials, is not a place I would consider having quality food. Just quantity. However, not only are these nachos a meal unto them self, this platter is actually 8 individually topped nacho chips fully loaded with all of my favorite ingredients with the lettuce cast off to the side (actually the middle as a ridiculous garnish). Practically a miracle in taste and value.

• Presentation: 7
• Assembly: 8
• Uniqueness:6
• Value: 9
• Taste: 9
• Overall: 7.8

Ruby Tuesdays (and other chain restaurants with crazy crap on the walls) - you are now on my radar.